But It's the Law!

Whenever I go to the city, which is maybe once a month, I'm usually alone. I have zero social life, and it's easier to go without my family. They're usually not interested in what I want to do, anyway. They enjoy my stories, though!

I go to Broadway shows, movie premieres; basically, anywhere I can see and/or meet a celebrity. I'm honestly lucky to be in a wheelchair. Sometimes. I've been in the front row at concerts, assumed to be press at Fashion's Night Out, and the only one on line to get two hugs from John Stamos at the stage door of "Bye Bye Birdie". Those middle-aged ladies about died!

Then there are those other times. The times when it would be easier to be able to walk. When I go out, I have to plan my route beforehand. I have to give myself plenty of time before an event, hours even. Usually my mother drives me to the train station, but I also use Able-Ride, a shared bus service here on Long Island. They are notoriously late.

Once I actually get to the city, I have two options: walk or use the bus. Buses are a hassle because if they are full, I always feel bad making someone stand. Subways are impossible because I can't just jump over the gap. Taxis are just now becoming wheelchair-accessible, but they have never stopped to pick me up, even in the rain. They have tried to run me over, though!

Luckily, people are mostly willing to help me cross the street. There are those that will just watch you as you struggle, but thank God some people are angels. Then the real fun begins. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked why I don't have an umbrella in the rain. Where would you suggest I put it? I certainly cannot propel a wheelchair and hold onto an umbrella at the same time! And some people have experience pushing wheelchairs, while others find every crack and pothole in the city.

I have recently gotten a cup-holder for my chair. This means I can finally drink during the day. Before, I wouldn't be able to just pop in and out of Starbucks with a to-go cup. I would have to sit down at a restaurant or a cafe. This leads to another problem:finding a bathroom that I can fit in with my chair and easily transfer to and from the commode. Not every building has one that meets my requirements. Many places seem to think the handicap stall needs to be just a few inches wider. That is simply not enough room. This means that I have to use the same few restaurants and offices, over and over. Trying a new restaurant just creates anxiety. "Handicapped-accessible" means different things to different people. Until you are actually in a wheelchair, you don't know what that means.

When I tell people this, their response is always "But there's a law!" This is the law: http://construction.about.com/od/Inspection/a/Ada-Regulations-For-Handicapped-Bathrooms.htm. But really, does every business follow the law to the letter? And what about buildings built before 1990?

Even getting on and off the train is a pain. I need a ramp to clear the gap. I have to wait for a conductor to notice me. Usually that means that my fellow passengers help me get on, because a conductor never seems to be around when you need them. And have you been in the elevator at Penn Station? Ew!

People often tell me I'm "brave" to be coming into the city by myself. I guess from their perspective, that's true. But isn't that true for anyone, disabled or not?